Regan’s Remedies: March 13, 2014

BY REGAN HOERL

SC Staff Writer 

Good day, Regan,

I’m a freshman here on campus, and I met a girl in my introduction to psychology class about 2 months ago. We’ve quickly grown to like one another, but I don’t know if I want a relationship right now. I want the freedom to go out and meet new people without feeling guilty or feeling like I’m missing out on the “college experience.” How do I tell someone I have feelings for, that I don’t want to be tied down or restricted without sounding like a jerk?

In your opinion, is it a good or bad idea to enter an exclusive relationship as a college freshman?

Sincerely,

Michael

Dear Michael,

If you’re second guessing your relationship now, you’ll be second guessing it until it’s over.

Unfortunately, your situation sounds like the good cop bad cop game. If you’re truly interested in her, and you can’t see yourself without her, then you should enter a relationship.

Just because you’re dating someone during your year as a freshman in college doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.

Being with someone can only make college easier, sometimes. There’s always someone to listen to you vent about unlawful professors or crazy-long paper assignments. She will be there for you every step of your college experience. Also, you always have someone to eat lunch with at Dansbury.

Unless she’s the jealous type, I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about when meeting new people. You’re meeting new people in your classes and extracurricular activities every day. If she’s going to be jealous of those people, do not even consider dating her.

However, if you’re worrying about meeting other girls at parties or out and about, that’s your prerogative. You’ll have to consider that this girl will not want to keep coming around while you’re out with other women—women don’t work that way.

If you decide to stay out of a relationship, do not get down on yourself. If you truly decide that being single will make you better off in the long run, then be single.

No girl or guy at that matter should hold you back from accomplishing your dreams in college and from achieving good grades.

Just be prepared that this girl may not react the way you want her to. Some girls don’t like to hear the “let’s just be friends” line. They simply do not want any more friends.

Make sure to address this situation lightly. Keep her feelings, thoughts, and opinions in mind while you confront her about the way you’re feeling. If you like her you have to respect the way she feels.

Whichever way you decide, just make sure you’re looking out for yourself without being hurtful towards anyone in the way.

Email Regan at:

rhoerl@live.esu.edu

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