The Invisible Voice: Taking the Lead

The Proposal movie scene with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Photo Courtesy / Google Images
The Proposal movie scene with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Photo Courtesy / Google Images

The Proposal movie scene with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.
Photo Courtesy / Google Images

By Brittany Barnes
SC Staff Writer

Every few weeks a new trend is documented on your Facebook wall.

I know we all remember the Ice Bucket Challenge, or more recently a wide majority of people are uploading videos of them hitting the Quan, a new dance craze.

For a period of time over the summer, pictures and videos displaying women on bent knee asking for their boyfriends’ hands in marriage were popping up all over social media.

I know we’re all used to men taking this such role; being the one who buys the ring, plans a way to ask his girlfriend, and then getting down on one knee while his girlfriend cries from excitement.

But recently, a ton of people, women especially, have been trying to reverse or dismantle traditional gender roles.

It is safe to say that some people are uncomfortable about women proposing to men.

Facebook user, King Michael Miller Sr., was honest about his feeling about women “taking” this away from men.

On June 13, 2015 he stated, “All these pics and videos of women proposing to men is humiliating and emasculating.”

He is not the only one that feels this way. According to a study done by Rachael Robnett at the University of California, Santa Cruz, about 67 percent of the 277 heterosexual students surveyed said they’d definitely want the man to propose.

When asked to explain why, a male student said he would feel emasculated if he did not propose.

Men are not the only ones who feel this way. Only 2.8 percent of women during this study said they “kind of” want to propose.

LiveScience.com explains, “not a single student, male or female, “definitely” wanted the woman to propose.”

Female students would go on to say that women proposing is “very awkward.”

A quarter of the female respondents expressed that romance is the reason men should propose.

Twenty percent say that the reason behind not wanting to propose is a fear of coming on “too strong.”

Facebook user King Michael Miller Sr. went on to say, “If a man isn’t man enough to lead and propose to his woman, he isn’t the ‘MAN’ for you. Women learn to stay in your lane and allow a man to be a man. If he can’t, find a better man!!!”

I’ve been hearing the saying, “isn’t man enough,” for most of my life and still have no idea what it’s supposed to mean.

If the man hasn’t proposed and the woman feels as though she is ready, she can take the lead.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t “man enough.” Maybe he feels like it would be awkward too, or maybe he’s nervous. Both of these feelings are felt by both sexes.

Glamour Magazine surveyed a more open-minded group of males, asking them about what they felt about flipped proposals.

Thirty-three percent say that “whoever has the guts” should be the one that proposes.

Seventy percent say they would “psyched” if their girlfriend proposed.

With that being said, 63 percent say that they would not want her to get down on one knee.

Seventy-two percent think that after the woman proposes, he should then go out and buy her a ring. Fifty-nine percent think that she does not need to buy a ring.

We live in a time in which gender roles are being redefined and traditional marriage roles are still very tricky.

Every relationship is different. If both people in the relationship are comfortable with the women taking the lead, we should not judge them.

Email Brittany at:
bbarnes1@live.esu.edu

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