By Yaasmeen Piper
The holidays are just around the corner. For most people, it’s a time you finally bring your special someone to meet your family.
Bringing your partner home for the holidays can be stressful. You get sweaty palms, and nervous getters wondering if the night will run smoothly or end up in flames.
For someone who is LGBTQ+ it can be even worse. Though your family may be accepting and open minded, there’s still some people who give you and your partner the side eye, and shifts uncomfortably whenever you too touch. It can be nerve racking.
I sat down with Lex Serrano, former president of ESU’s PRIDE, and she shared her story with me about bringing her girlfriend to meet her family.
“I wasn’t out to my Dad’s side of the family and I brought my girlfriend on our family vacation with us and just kind of went for it and introduced her as my girlfriend. I was petrified. They were weirdly okay with it. They didn’t question me at all but I’m sure they talked about me like they gave me the look like they were talking about me obviously when I left. My one uncle hit on my girlfriend. Very uncomfortable.”
Of course everyone wished they could burst through the door with their partner’s hand laced in theirs, announcing their relationship to the world. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.
“I didn’t know how they would react at all because my grandmother is a very devout Catholic. I’m not Catholic and her faith tells her that it is okay to be gay as long as you don’t act on it. They still maintain the ‘Don’t ask—Don’t tell’ policy that the military took up. Yeah, it’s okay to be gay as long as you don’t act on it or don’t do anything. You can be gay as long as you act straight and do straight things.”
If you do decide to bring your partner home my advice is to be confident. Fake it if you have to. Let them know this is your partner and you are not going to change.
“Despite the fact that my mom knows I’m gay, she’s not always comfortable with it. She tires really hard and I can appreciate the effort but I know she just thought I was straight.”
“Both her and my grandmother on my mother’s side, who are very accepting of me, still have the belief that I’ll be straight if I just give it a shot. I tried to explain to them that, that’s not how it works. That’s my favorite when people are like ‘well, how do you know that you’re gay?’ Well, how do you know you’re straight? They’re like, ‘well, I just am’ I’m like, ‘well you answered your own question.’”
“Don’t feel obligated [to bring your partner home]. Your relationship is no one’s business but yours and your partners and neither is your sexuality, or gender identity. If you think there’s a potentially extra stressful or dangerous situation you’re bringing your partner into just maybe so spend [the holiday] with their family or take a break and celebrate afterwards. There’s no reason to put yourself at risk[ if you are not comfortable yet].”
Email Yaasmeen at: