By Edita Bardhi
In college, where would you go if you were feeling down and needed to think, but you still wanted company?
Ordinarily, if you were to ask this to someone, they would probably advise you to one of these places:
• [Public] library
• School’s bookstore
• Tutoring center
• Counseling center
• Lounging areas
• Social events
Granted these locations have a lot to offer college students.
But there are still times when it is not enough.
On occasion, students may need more than attending an outing or receiving a change of scenery to feel better.
Instead, they may need to be with a loved one, or just anyone for that matter.
In college, it is difficult to find ‘just anyone’ to talk to.
However, it’s even worse when peers choose to bypass it altogether.
Initially, everyone is a human being.
We all have the capability to smile or frown, be angry or fearful, feel love or hate, be relaxed or tensed and so forth.
Hence, we will always observe that in ourselves, but we shall not forget about others.
Admittedly, I am forgetful now and then too.
Sometimes, I become rude, impatient, inconsiderate and aggravated.
Even so, two things I’ve always tried to keep in mind are:
1. Being willing to admit the wrong doing.
2. Not allowing the negative behavior to carry on.
Instead of asking yourself ‘how do you think the other person feels?’ Draw an image in your mind (or in your heart) of the possible answer.
That’s what I do.
Typically, this question has me approaching the person seconds later.
I then want to be certain of my assumptions.
You may not realize it, but your choice to lend your presence during a person’s hardships can make a difference.
Most college students are already being faced with other negative sensations.
Some include stress, worry, anxiety, anger, regret and so forth.
However, receiving neglection is just as painful.
Just think of it.
If you were to bypass a negative feeling, it will lead to worse things.
For instance, a single neglection may influence the individual(s) to not seek out help at all.
Maybe the person was on the verge of being suicidal.
Maybe a tragedy occurred that would lead to a life-time of depression.
Maybe they were about to make a permanent decision in their life.
On the contrary, they may just want company for a few minutes.
If so, invite them over for a few minutes.
Allow them to tag along to dinner.
Additionally, giving off the impression that you do not care can do other sorts of harm.
Most people, whether they have low-self-esteem or not, will assume the worst.
• Uncared for
• Unthought of
• A failure
These are just some of the many common assumptions and feelings people fall upon. Either way, you would never know unless you acted.
In all, most of which we think about and act upon revolves around ourselves.
Indeed, it is important to treat and care for ourselves.
However that should not affect our behavior and the decisions we make toward other individuals.