Ask Becca: March 3, 2016

By Rebecca Rue
Staff Writer

*Sending advice your way to deal with your dates, deadlines, and dorm mates every week*

Dear Becca,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a couple of years, and the really awkward part is that we have the same circle of friends and go to the same gatherings.

I really do want to stay friends with him because outside of the romantic part of our relationship, we were pretty great together platonically. Is this even possible?

Sincerely,
Agonized and Confused

Dear Agonized and Confused,

Wow. First I want to say how sorry I am.

Sure, it’s a part of life, but that doesn’t mean it sucks any less.

That goes for anyone of any age, and don’t listen to someone who claims differently.

The best suggestion I can give you is to talk to him, if you haven’t already.

How is he feeling about the situation? Does he still want to maintain a friendship? Can he handle seeing you when your set of friends get together, or is it too hard for him?

In his reaction lies the answer to your question. However, if you feel you need more clarity, or aren’t comfortable talking to him just yet, you could speak to your circle of friends.

And not in a “give me all the dirty details” way. Simply “is what I want possible? How is he doing?”

If it isn’t possible, accept that there’s going to be a division with your friends. Whoever is closer to you or to him will align themselves with one side.

Most likely, your friends won’t have an issue inviting you both out to group events (despite any awkwardness), as long as that doesn’t cause any problems.

How that plays out is up to the both of you of course.

Most importantly, just give it some time. It may feel overwhelming right now, but soon you will blink and find that a year has passed.

You never know where life can take you in that year, how you will feel, and who you could meet.

Dear Becca,

I struggle a lot with social interaction and worry often that what I have to say will sound stupid.

There is someone in one of my classes who sets off this fear in me, and makes me feel awkward.

How can I ignore them, and put all of this out of my head?

Sincerely,
Socially Awkward

Dear Socially Awkward,

First, I completely understand how you are feeling. To put yourself out there at school is not easy for some.

I struggled with the same thing myself when I first came to ESU last semester. The important thing, however, is that you keep on doing so.

For instance, I am always afraid before every class presentation, but I tell myself that in the overall scheme of things, ten minutes will not matter in my life.

The same goes for you. Who you are matters, and what you have to contribute to any class is important.

No one is the same, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. This person that worries you might in fact struggle with something that you find easy.

So my advice is to make it personal rule that you talk at least once a day during class. This way, you don’t find that multiple classes have passed with you in complete silence.

If you do find something you say embarrassing, just take a deep breath and put it out of your mind as best as you can.

You deserve the best experience possible out of your college education.

*Hey there East Stroudsburg University Students! Have an issue that you need help with? Send your questions my way, and check out my advice column every week to see if your question has been chosen!*

Email Becca at:
rrue@live.esu.edu

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