Ask Becca: Apr. 21, 2016

Rebecca Rue
Staff Writer

*Sending advice your way to deal with your dates, deadlines, and dorm mates every week*

Dear Becca,

I recently went on a first date with a guy. His friends and my friends all know each other, and they thought we would get along great. And we do, just not that way. He made it clear that he wanted to see me again, and even went out of his way to call and text and ask me out. I stalled, not sure what to say because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I tell him?

Sincerely,
Not Feeling It

Dear Not Feeling It,

It is never easy when feelings are not reciprocated on both sides.

This conversation you need to have is not going to be easy either. There is no real way to soften the blow besides being as kind as respectful as you can be. And even then, all he is going to hear from you is that you aren’t interested.

You mentioned that you both are a part of this large group of friends. Are you still interested in hanging out with him further, with the group?

It is important to have your feelings sorted out and clear for you before you talk to him.

I would suggest talking to him in person if you can. This will show that you respect him and you will feel better about the whole situation if you know you did everything you could to mitigate the blow.

If you cannot have a face to face conversation, then talking on the phone is the second best thing. Do not text or email him. No one wants to be messaged that way about feelings or the end of a relationship.

Good luck, I hope it all turns out well.

I hope that before you know it, you meet the right person.

Dear Becca,

I was pleasantly surprised to become really close to my dorm mates this past year. We all live a good distance apart, and although I am excited for summer, I am also worried that we will drift away from each other. Do you have any advice?

Sincerely,
Distance Challenged

Dear Distance Challenged,

First, I am glad that you made some great friends and enjoyed your year.

In my opinion, the most important thing in maintaining any relationship is to care.

If you wish to keep in touch and the same level of closeness, then it is all about making them a priority.

Of course, you will have obligations besides this, such as with your family, other friends, a summer job, etc. But it is all about knowing what is the most important to you and juggling everything accordingly.

Make sure you call and text each other on a regular basis. Also, make it a priority to tell them how you are feeling and that they are important to you.

It definitely will not hurt if they know where you stand, and will make them more likely to want the same things you do.

Enjoy your summer! I hope you guys are able to room together again next year.

*Hey there East Stroudsburg University Students! Have an issue that you need help with? Send your questions my way, and check out my advice column every week to see if your question has been chosen!*

Email Becca at:
rrue@live.esu.edu

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