Bad B-Movies to Binge this Halloween Night

Screengrab via Afilmtube "Sint" is a foreign film that brings a refreshing take in the oversaturated scary Christmas sub-genre of horror movies.

Michael Chintalan 

A&E Editor 

Halloween’s meant to be the scariest holiday of the year, but what if other holidays ended up being even scarier than Halloween itself?

This year, treat yourself to a collection of the best worst horror holiday movies out there.

ThanksKilling (2008)

A horror flick involving the beloved holiday of Thanksgiving. A turkey named Turkie goes on a killing rampage after having slain a topless pilgrim in 1621.

This movie has several sequels and is quite ludicrous. It may not have the most amazing plot or visuals, but when it comes to shock and awe then there’s plenty of fun to be had. Especially if you enjoy one-liners delivered by an evil turkey.

New Year’s Evil (1980)

A murderer goes on an almost Jack-The-Ripper serial killing spree across America on New Year’s Eve. Every time it strikes twelve in different time zones the killer gets closer to the helpless broadcaster in Hollywood.

Less of a horror flick and more of a thriller, this movie is a bizarre film that came out almost at the same time as “Friday the 13th”, which shows that the slasher genre was not a concrete genre just yet.

The premise is interesting and it even has some eerie “found footage” moments that the killer makes as he goes around stabbing and killing each new hour.

Sint (2010)

Did you ever want to watch an undead pope, named Sinterklass, come back to life and go on a killing spree while looking fashionable at the same time? No?

Sint is a strange take on  Christmas horror flicks and it combines horror and slasher elements. It takes place on the fifth of December, which is also a fun fact to know because supposedly Sinterklass died and is reincarnated on that day every year.

Sint goes around killing, killing, and killing more. It does have some enjoyably bad moments and is worth a watch just to see how Christmas horror is done outside of America.

Silent Night, Deadly Night  Part 2 (1987)

A cult classic with the famed “Garbage day!” scene that can’t be quoted enough. Loaded with cheesy deaths and terrible effects, it’s a sight to behold and can not be missed.

The plot follows the standard slasher-flick tropes while getting bizarre and creative when it comes to the terrible death scenes. It is quite horrifying to see just how bad a movie can do.

Halloween Night (2006)

Another typical slasher flick where a crazed man escapes an asylum and goes on a killing spree, as usual. It really doesn’t add anything to the slasher genre and it isn’t a good movie at all, perhaps even boring at times.

What makes the movie noteworthy, or at least infamous, is the terrible special effects. It clearly was inspired by “Halloween” but it fails to deliver anything that made it horrific.

The Dog Who Saved Halloween (2011)

Sexism, bad jokes, and dog viewers are supposed to care about does nothing to help this cheesy kid’s flick. This unfunny, low-budget flick is no true horror flick, but it deserves a place as a b-movie worth watching or putting on to pass time.

This film is so ambiguous that it is nearly impossible to find. It more than likely is a marketing trick to ride off the cash-cow that other successful dog films are.

The best way to sum up the plot would have to be “local dog saves Halloween” and be left at just that.

1313: Giant Killer Bees (2011)

By far one of my favorite and most hated “horror” flicks ever. The movie is incredibly incompetent that nearly anyone who watches it would be baffled by it.

Terrible editing, bad cinematography, horrible CGI that possibly used premade assets, and borderline softcore porn the entire time makes it a beautiful disaster.

It is a part of the 1313 series, which I am more than sure is a boatload of hot studs at home making smut flicks to rake in cash, which I find more commendable than what other b-movie producers do. At least you know what you’re getting into. Just don’t watch with kids around.

Another thing, it seems that this movie is the same house that “A Talking Cat” (2013) was made in. Family-friendly terrible cat film in the same place as the horrid “1313” franchise definitely seems strange. It could perhaps be a conspiracy, but I digress.

Jason X (2001)

What happens if you take a beloved serial killer franchise and decide to set it in a sci-fi setting? This is what happens.

“Jason X” is the exact opposite of what people enjoy in slasher flicks: Bad kills and no thrills.

It takes place out in space and follows the famous Jason as he goes on another killing spree. Instead of an unbeatable and invincible man, it’s now a spooky sci-fi looking man!

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

Now, this is a masterpiece. An absolute classic that deserves a watch. Its name is as wild as the movie is.

A bunch of clowns come from outer space and kill people, which is the general synopsis. It gets plenty better though as viewers will see the amazing circus tent space ship and all the wacky gadgets and killer jokes the clowns have.

It has no real cohesive plot and is more of a spectacle film, but it’s enjoyable and isn’t bad to pop on when needing a film that would entertain a bored brain.

If you have any horrid film suggestions, whether they be truly scary or not, send them my way! Otherwise, send any film you’d like to see a review of.

Email Michael at:

mchintalan@live.esu.edu

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