ESU: Friend or Foe

By Jaimey Strauch

After nearly four years here at East Stroudsburg University, I’ve noticed a few things are the same for all the students. For starters, we all refer to the same bible…the syllabus. I can’t think of a worst thing in college, (aside from undercooked fries in the cafeteria) than a professor who doesn’t hand out a syllabus.

I’m in that circle of hell now myself. I’m in a class where I don’t know how many absences I’m allowed to have or how my professor views texting in class. Let’s be honest, these are the first things we all look at. Then we check if we have to do any presentations, and if there is a ten to fifteen page paper in our future. The syllabus will ultimately tell us if we think we can handle the class.

Another thing we all have in common is we always make the same promise to ourselves from the get go. “This semester will be different.” We’ll read on time, we won’t waste time online, we won’t look at spark notes, we won’t procrastinate, we’ll save our flex dollars, and of course Thirsty Thursday won’t exist when there’s an 8 am class on Friday. Sadly, most of us end up breaking these promises.

We all experience the same horrors on campus.

-Construction has never been a bigger part of my life until I got to college.

-Four dollars and eighty nine cents for four chicken tenders in the union makes us question why our university hates us so much.

-Crosswalks have become a way to see if we can outrun a car.

-Rain is always heaviest in Stroudsburg on Tuesdays and Thursdays when you have to walk to Fine Arts.

-Flex dollars aren’t a luxury anymore. They’re just how you make an adequate meal in the union.

-I’m not even going to start on parking, we’ve beat that horse dead.

-We don’t want MYESUPORTAL to be ours whatsoever.

-Let us not forget our sin hating protester friends. We can hear shouting on campus, and immediately figure out whose here.

-If you lived in Hawthorn in 2010….fire drills is all I have to say.

-“Due to heavy call volume we cannot take your call at this time. Try back later or contact us on our website. Goodbye.” I love you too Enrollment Services.

We’ve all been through the ringer at some point. However, there are some things we’ve had at ESU that keep us here. Margaret for one. There’s never been a more beloved woman on a college campus. Then there’s our many hauntings, as if we are at Hogwarts. They certainly set us apart from the others. Our school is kind of like having a little brother. We can complain all we want but if someone else tries to…..actually, we’d probably let them.