BY BROOK WADLE
East Stroudsburg University is a small school tucked quietly in the borough of East Stroudsburg in the Pocono Mountains.
While the Poconos may be booming tourist destination that offers beautiful views and countless activities to do, it is the perfect home for a college campus.
ESU offers small class sizes, a tightly knit campus, and the upbeat, downtown Stroudsburg that’s just a short walk away, what’s not to love?
Let me tell you:
Commuter students are faced with the recurrent problem of finding a parking spot.
If you don’t have an 8 AM class, there is a high chance you won’t find a spot when you arrive to campus. #ESUProblems
You are left with two choices: park at the library and make the dreaded hike to class and arrive in the nick of time or sit in a closer commuter lot and prey on those who are leaving campus after they get out of their class at 10:50 AM.
Those who choose option two must wait for their fellow commuters to get out of class, stroll ever so slowly to their cars, and compete with every other commuter searching for a spot to park.
Finding a parking spot at ESU is so competitive, it might be turned into an official sport soon.
If you’ve managed to secure a spot after all those obstacles, not to mention the heaping mounds of snow that have been “removed” but actually take up 25% of parking spots, at this point it’s now 10:57 AM and you now have exactly three minutes to make it to class.
You try to hurry to class, but left your ice skates back in 1999 along with your dreams of being an Olympic figure skater.
There is no way you are making it to class on time with the ice and snow-covered sidewalks.
As you cross the bridge to go into Stroud Hall, you find yourself caught in that awkward moment of whether or not to hold that god-awful heavy door for the person straggling twenty feet behind you or pretend you didn’t see them. #ESUProblems
After getting out of class, you are starving, but you can’t decide if you want to go to Dansbury Commons and leave the same way you came – hungry, or go to the union and spend $4 on a cup of grapes and $7 on a sandwich you could have gotten for half the price and double the size at Wawa.
Then you remember you only have $20 of flex left to last you 10 more weeks of the semester. Dansbury it is! #ESUProblems.
The food is not the only thing putting a hole in students’ pockets.
You would think the University Store was owned by Gucci not Barnes & Noble with what they are charging for their attire.
Buying an ESU hoodie might often result in living of Ramen Noodles for the next month. #ESUProblems
You can’t spend all your money on food and clothes – save your cash for Barstool Blackout.
Barstool is kind of like that cold sore on your lip that keeps coming back starring you in the face. Will they ever be gone for good? #ESUProblems
If you make it to graduation, congratulations. Hopefully you’re not using a cane to move across the stage.
ESU has the tendency to keep students here for longer than the 4 year average–maybe we just love it that much.
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