By Regan Hoerl
SC Staff Writer
ESU Crushes is back again this semester, and it’s hotter and heavier than ever. ESU Crushes is a Twitter page that takes anonymous submissions from a Survey Monkey website and posts them on the page for students to read.
While some posts and vulgar and just plain wrong, others can have you laughing until you cry—trust me, I’ve done just that. However, there’s something more anonymous about the posts: the host.
After a few days of direct messaging on Twitter, the following questions were answered from an anonymous email between yours truly and the infamous ESU matchmaker.
When asked about the beginning of ESU Crushes, the anonymous matchmaker said, “I started ESU Crushes two and a half years ago when the original @esucrushes died off and was inactive. I felt like ESU needed the Twitter page so I brought it back and I knew I could make it better than the original.”
I continued by asking about how anonymous feels about being an online matchmaker. He/She continued with, “It’s crazy knowing who likes who from a distance but not getting involved. I’m a low key romantic at heart, but I’m really not a hitch or anything. I merely give ESU students a platform to say what their heart desires and make someone’s day in the process.”
Most students know how entertaining the Twitter page can be. Anonymous feels the exact same way as the students. He/She said, “For me it’s overhearing people right next to me talking or laughing to their friends and saying, ‘Did you see that tweet about you on ESU Crushes?’ Seeing people’s response back to a crush about them is also the best entertainment. It’s an awesome and positive way of entertaining the student body and that’s a really hard thing to do with college students. Everyone gets a good laugh.”
Submissions to the page are always different. Anonymous has the best idea about which submissions are the funniest or most interesting. When asked about which submissions are the most interesting, he/she said, “It has to be the tons of submissions I read and submit a day about sitting on people’s faces. Or, sometimes I get a really deep and heartfelt submission about someone. There’s also the really interesting moment when I read a crush about myself. I love those moments.”
Not all the submissions can be 100 percent genuine. Anonymous agreed. “I definitely think 40 percent of the submissions are genuine, 30 percent of the submissions are friends posting about friends, 20 percent of the submissions are people sending crushes about themselves, and 10 percent of the submissions are people sending negative or hate about people.”
Of course, Anonymous enjoys the tweets that are sent. The funniest tweets, he/she claims are the ones about the everyday people of ESU. Anonymous said, “The funniest tweets I saw has to the ones about faculty like Professors, Dansbury Commons Workers, Enrollment Service Desk Workers, even President Welsh. Nobody is safe.”
One question that Anonymous could not answer is his/her gender. It’s a secret that can never be leaked. When asked what gender he/she was, Anonymous said, “I can’t say, but what I can say is I’m graduating soon and I’ll be passing down the account to someone soon to keep spreading the love.”
There you go, folks. The ESU Crushes page is meant for you to be entertained, tell your crush how you really feel, or play a prank on your best friend. Either way, the page always has a way to make someone smile after a day of pop quizzes, exams, or intense studying.
The host, a nameless, genderless student, has your best interest in mind and is out to keep you entertained and laughing. So, if you’re ever feeling down and can’t find a way to smile, go to the @esucrushes1 page and I promise you’ll find that you can’t stop laughing.
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