ESU Near Top of Infamous List, Students Not Happy

ESU has been more well-known for partying than academics in the past two years. Photo Credit / Lian Mlodzienski
ESU has been more well-known for partying than academics in the past two years. Photo Credit / Lian Mlodzienski
ESU has been more well-known for partying than academics in the past two years.
Photo Credit / Lian Mlodzienski

By Jenny Bront
SC Staff Writer

ESU has been rated the second most underrated party school in America on

In May, we were named eighteenth on the Coed website, and last year we were named number one on the Barstool website; it was a repeat victory. We have also placed third in the country for drinking related arrests. Go Warriors!

Who knew we would have such a long list of accomplishments? Well now the whole world knows we can hold our liquor. I’m sure future employers will be grateful of such impressive skills.

On what merits are these schools chosen? uses a strict scientific process for their decision-making: “To qualify as an underrated party school, a few things need to happen.

First, and most importantly, you need to party. All the schools you see here have student bodies fully committed to the weekends.

Second, people need to be talking about how ratchet your ragers get. If people aren’t tweeting about your parties, you’re not doing it right.”

With such rigorous requirements, is it any surprise ESU has made the cut?

Sophomore Taylor Lanick doesn’t seem to be amazed: “It is definitely a true fact. There is always a party going on. No matter where a party is, they are always hot and crowded. They are dangerous and most certainly not to be attended alone.”

If the last Barstool is any indication of the amount of peril such parties can be, then it is safe to say that such rankings do more harm than good for our school.

Yes, the old saying is that “there is no such thing as bad publicity,” but when the title has the possibility of keeping students from getting the job they want, then it is the worst kind of publicity.

“It’s horrible and reflects badly on those of us that work hard, and when we graduate and go out for interviews, people will look at our school and think less of our quality of education,” said student Victoria Kraft.

Instead of focusing on the party side, we should focus on our other achievements. The WESS “Woodie” award is an example of an achievement that should make ESU students proud to be Warriors.

The next list we should aim to make is the school with the highest graduation rate, or the school with the greatest hiring percentage.

When your school is synonymous with “ratchet,” you know you have gone too far.

This is exactly how the Coed website describes our school: “Any time that a school comes in third place for drinking related arrests in the country, you know that students are doing something right…. That’s just what we’ve come to expect from that ratchet folks at East Stroudsburg University.”

Whatever happened to fancy socials, mixers, wine tastings, etc.? A party doesn’t have to be all about “Girls Gone Wild,” and drinking until you have to get your stomach pumped.

One of our fellow classmates, Kendrick Diaz holds the belief that “parties are overrated. People need to learn how to throw classy parties.”

When you want to kick back and blow off some steam, try to create a few events that give your guests choices other than consuming alcohol.

Dancing is always a good alternative, but make sure there is enough room for it. If you were to extend your party outside, make sure you play some music out there as well as inside.

Board games can be surprisingly fun as well. There are more wholesome ways of enjoying yourself, but no matter what you do, for everyone’s sake, leave your cameras at home.

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