Men: A Guide for Women

A girl spoon spooning a boy spoon on their plate bed. Photo Credit / Amy Lukac A girl spoon spooning a boy spoon on their plate bed. Photo Credit / Amy Lukac
A girl spoon spooning a boy spoon on their plate bed. Photo Credit / Amy Lukac
A girl spoon spooning a boy spoon on their plate bed.
Photo Credit / Amy Lukac

By Phuong Le
Contributing Writer

Ladies, do we confuse you? Are we just a bunch of gross dudes? Are you afraid of the average college “bro?” Do you want to know what makes a guy wear Vans, Sperry’s, or Jordan’s? Cargos or khakis? Why that kid liked you and you liked him, but you both never said anything?

You read Cosmo and a bunch of people are telling you different lipsticks you can wear to attract a man. Let me ask you this: if the advice in Cosmo worked, wouldn’t there be less single women, who wouldn’t have to buy the magazine?

Do you think that’s what magazines like that want? Exactly. I did a random questionnaire and collected the answers from anonymous men on campus. Let me tell you, men and women are a LOT alike.

We hate spiders, too. Yes, we’ll grab a Kleenex and grab it for you. We don’t like it. An anonymous professor stated that he “Hates bugs! I hate them. The way they crawl around is gross. It makes me itchy just thinking about it.” Eight legs are WAY too many.

We like chick flicks. When Landon goes down to the dock and thinks about Jamie, do you cry? Me? It’s just something in my eye.

Sure, we like explosions and guns and Jason Statham. We also like poop jokes and Will Ferrell. It’s not that we like action movies or comedies and nothing else. We just like movies. Ask a guy if he’s ever seen Hardball. Then, ask him about “G Baby.”

Two random male students, when asked about chick flicks, talked in-depth about The Notebook. “Ryan Gosling is awesome. He’s super talented.” The other added that “I’m not saying that when I see it on ABC Family I’ll watch it. I mean, if someone says we’re watching it, I’m not complaining.”

We love a good compliment on what we’re wearing. It’s not that we go out of our way to get complimented on our outfits, for the most part. It’s not even like we really care that much. Some of us just prefer certain shoes or pants or shirts. We don’t even want a big compliment.

Tell a guy “Wow, those are cool.” Point right at his shoes. The “thank you” you’ll receive will be genuine.

A senior student agreed. He said, “I always wear sweatpants and a hoodie. When I had an interview, I got dressed up. This girl in my biology class said that I looked great. I felt really confident all day.” Look at what that one compliment did.

Guys want to be the little spoon every once in a while. You know that feeling of having someone you love wrap their arms around you? You’re feeling comfortable and peaceful? Well, we’re cold and tired. Switch it up every once in a while.

One junior said that he wished he was shorter. “I’m 6’4” and I’m never the little spoon. My last girlfriend was 5’6″. I can’t be anything but a big spoon. Hairs all in my face. That’s the worst.”

One last thing that women need to know is that men are excited to be dads. In most cases, the first hero a boy has is his dad. Dads are awesome. Look at the dadbod phase.

I’m not saying that we sit around thinking about being a dad all the time. We can definitely wait. But, we’re excited for it. What’s not to be excited about? You become someone else’s role model. That’s pretty cool.

A graduating senior showcased his excitement for fatherhood. “Dude, being a dad would be awesome. Not right now, because I have no money. But, when I’m ready, I’m going to be such a good dad. My boys are coming over with their kids and we’re going to have the best time.”

Let me conclude this by saying that not ALL men share these characteristics. Everyone’s different. However, maybe just let the spider crawl away. Throw on a romantic comedy. Throw in a compliment. Be the big spoon.

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