Advice Column: Confront People Properly

Edita Bardhi

Opinion Editor 

Has a family member, close friend or a co-worker ever upset you?

People are human beings, and as a human being you will have an emotional reaction and opinions toward negativity, especially if it’s from someone you value dearly.

In many circumstances, the negativity people feel is caused by a remark, a behavior or a thought they receive.

Possibly their friend talked behind their back, neglected their presence, expected too much from them, lied to their face and so forth.

All of these will have a negative effect on a person, and the relationship.

That fact is familiar to most individuals, but what isn’t is confrontations.

Particularly, confrontations are rarely done in these circumstances and if they are they are done incorrectly.

First and foremost, I will list all the incorrect ways to confront an issue.

First, bottling up your emotions. When you bottle up your emotions, you are slowly increasing that once small feeling into a huge one.

Within time, you notice that your mood and overall concentration has altered.

Next, avoiding the issue.

This approach only creates discomfort, stress and possibly anger whenever you see the person who has disappointed you.

Third, venting to a third party.

As you do this, you release your pain; however, it is only temporary.

The anger and/or disappointment you feel will eventually reappear.

In addition, you put your stress on another person.

Fourth, giving signals.

It is unhelpful to the situation when you pass on dirty looks, spread rumors or anything remotely of that sort.

Do any of these methods sound familiar to you?

Surely, you have experienced one or more of these, whether it was you being confronted or the other way around.

Luckily, there is a correct way to confront people and situations.

Initially, you must prepare yourself, mentally.

To do this, you must understand that you are overwhelmed and be certain of the cause.

You are doing yourself a favor because you are admitting to yourself that you need confrontation.

Also, you are welcoming the option of confrontation.

This may not seem important; however, you cannot solve issues if you are unwilling to confront them.

Like the first step, you will want to be certain.

Ths time, the certainity will be of the information you express.

Would you want to have the other person to misunderstand you, and thus develop even stronger (negative) feelings of you?

I don’t think so, and I certainly hope not.

A good tactic to use is having a prepared statement. This helps drastically in ways that you would not imagine.

The third step includes you staying aware the matter and putting your foot down when needed.

By now, you clearly expressed what you think and feel and the other side must respect it.

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