My Secret ESU: Smile

The carved caption at Kemp Library (Credit: Mary MacIntire)

Mary MacIntire

Staff Writer

When I climb the green carpeted steps to the second floor of the Kemp Library, I climb to the top of a moss-covered tower of solitude and silence. When I started at ESU this fall, I was freshly graduated from NCC. There, I spent a lot of time in the Mack Library at the Bethlehem campus. This is what really motivated me to find my own place of solace in the Kemp Library.  

Something about the second floor of the library makes it the perfect getaway from the rest of the campus. The first time I climbed those green patterned steps, I did not know exactly what to expect of what awaited me at the top. A sign on a metal post next to the door readQuiet Floor.” There was not a soul in sight. I decided to explore the vast rows of shelving before I called this place my own 

I walked through the walnut-colored shelves half-filled with books, making them look almost abandoned. The desolate atmosphere and constant white noise make it feel like a liminal space. There is an air of mystery that gives you the feeling you are alone, but you know you are not. Going through the yellow fluorescently lit pathways felt like one of those maze computer games from the 90’s. It made me want to explore further past this section of the labyrinth. 

There were individual study cubicles dotted around the perimeter of the floor. In the back corner were sea green and burnt tangerine-colored couches and chairs with fabric cushions that are a bit scratchy to the touch. There are larger tables scattered around as well. The opposite wall is taken up by windows where you can look out and see the street and the Koehler Fieldhouse. There were also larger sections of shared desk space that helped me realize the purpose of all the larger tables– it gave everyone enough space, making it so there was room for everyone to have a secret spot of their own.  

There is always a quiet spot to be found in some part of the floor, especially on the right day or at the right time. In my several times going there in between classes throughout the semester, I have concluded that my favorite spot is right where you walk in. There are a few small tables and a group of wooden desks with walls to separate them sitting in the middle of the open floor, making it the more exposed than other sections. One thing I have noticed is that most people do not want to sit next to each other, as they are seeking their own secluded spaces as well. If I get to these tables first, I have the entire space to myself. On Sundays (especially when there are no major exams coming up) you can sit anywhere and not have to worry about anyone else being in “your” area. 

Most of the time I can be found on the top floor on weekdays, and I usually choose the corner cubicle or the table right next to the outlet. To me, they are some of the best spots to study in peace. Even though this section has no furniture that I would necessarily call comfortable, it gives me all the space I need to spread out the clutter of textbooks, notebooks and any electronics I could be using. The wooden desk is the more private of the two, backed by more halfempty bookshelves that give a sort of cover like trees in a forest. It was not until after a few weeks of sitting in that box that I noticed the multiple writings and drawings scrawled along the inside. The depictions reminded me of cave drawings from thousands of years ago that I just happened to stumble upon.  

Not long after that realization, I was having a rough day as I sat at the shrouded desk analyzing select poems by Robert Browning. Lifting my head from being buried in my hands, I looked up to see “smile” written on the top of the desk. Surprisingly, it made me feel better. It made me feel like someone had carved it there with their gel pen specifically for me.