Ashley Larson
Contributing Writer
We all know the typical excuses for absence and tardiness: fake doctor appointments, the flu that ravages campus every time the weather drops below 60 degrees and the traffic that always seems to accumulate when you are already running late.
In fact, you probably have used a few of these well-known excuses. But what are the weirdest excuses that students have given?
We asked four ESU professors about the most outlandish excuses they’ve been given, and here are their answers:
“‘We were late because the farmer was moving his cows from one pasture to another and we had to wait for the cows to cross the road,'” says Dr. Olivia Carducci, professor and chair of mathematics.
It’s an outrageous explanation, but luckily the student had proof. After his explanation, he showed Carducci a picture of said cows crossing the road.
Carducci is not the only professor to be on the receiving end of photographic evidence. Professor Broun, a professor of English, recalls being sent photos of medical ailments. He says it is not so much the excuses given, but rather the way they were given.
“Like, graphic descriptions of medical things that are beyond what I need to know,” he continued. “They’ll send me photos–I don’t need to know all of that.”
A lot of professors have decided to take their student’s words at face value, and not just because they want to avoid a close-up of a compound fracture.
Richard Madigan, associate professor of English, is one of them.
“I am at the point in my teaching career that when a student is giving me an excuse, I just blank out and don’t really listen,” says Madigan. But he still hears them. He recalls a student who took a small vacation to one of the worst places on Earth.
“I guess I would have to go with the guy who told me he’d missed class because he’d been in jail for a couple days.”
Not every professor makes a distinction in absence types. Dr. Smith, professor of English and department chair, said, “This question was surprisingly difficult, I think because I did away with the distinction between ‘excused’ and ‘unexcused’ absences early in my career, so not many people bother concocting excuses.”
Some still do, however. She recalled one excuse given by someone who missed class to comfort her roommate, who had just broken up with her boyfriend.
‘Another one had to get ready for Halloween festivities (and therefore missed a 9 a.m. class). This one asserted that I should understand because ‘you were young once.’ I think I was about 35 at the time,” says Smith. “I have never felt so old.”
If there is a moral behind this string of strange excuses, here it is: if you feel inclined to give an explanation for your tardiness and absence, stick with the basics. And please, try not to provide photo evidence of your stomach flu or inadvertently insult your professor’s age—they already have enough grading to do.